One year...

One year. 

One year since we bought a travel trailer and decided to live the life of a nomad.

And oh the experiences we've had in that time!

It's had rough patches for sure. 

Some things were beautiful and others I try not to remember. 

But that is life. 

I often sit and wonder how I got to be so lucky to have done what we've done.

And I pray I never take it for granted. 

And now, as we pray for direction and guidance in the next step, I am reminded that HE provides all. 

For every need.

Even for the little wants.

He has a plan for every detail of our lives.

And I can't wait to see what happens this year!

 

If you asked me...

If you asked me...

I would tell you that these last 5 weeks have been rough.

Really rough.

My husband and best friend is on the other side of the world.

And Skype is not an even close replacement.

If you asked, I would tell you that Bee's behavior lately has been the worst ever of her entire life.

Throwing fits of epic proportion, arms flailing, screaming spitting, 

the whole 9 yards.

And I know it's because she doesn't have her Daddy.

Yesterday during a rough patch I asked her to come sit with me.

"But Momma, I just want my Daddy!"

I know baby, me too.

I'm so thankful our time apart is almost over. 

Just 3 days till we leave Thailand, 4 till we see Daddy.

But, if you asked, I would also tell you, she has the sweetest moments.

Like waking up at 3 in morning being restless, I asked her if she was ok.

"I just need to be closer to you Momma"

So we snuggled even closer.

If you asked, I would tell you I'm learning to trust.

In God.

That He has a plan for us even when things seem bleak.

Plans to prosper and not to harm.

To bring us a future and a hope.

Whatever or wherever that may be.

And being so very thankful and grateful for all He has given us.

For the people He's used to bless us.

And knowing His timing is perfect in things.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

Last Week

If you asked me.....

I would tell you I can't believe we're in our last week in Thailand. 

This trip has been amazing. 

Looking over my blog posts from the last 5 months brings a smile to my face. 

We've experience so much, seen beautiful things,

tasted delicious food, and have loved every moment.

We've been in the mountains of Chiang Mai, traveled in the hustle and bustle of Bangkok, and sunk our toes in the sand of Koh Tao, Koh Phangan, and Phuket. 

We have ridden on an elephant, and fed many more, Daniel even threw darts with one!

We held a white tiger cub in our laps and bottle fed him. 

Once in a lifetime thing for sure!

We've seen how the Thai people love children.

A shop keeper heard Bee tell me she was thirsty and gave me a bottled water, no charge. 

I was looking through some items at a sidewalk vendor and the owner gave Bee a hair clip. 

Every time Bee and I have gotten on a busy Songtauw, someone will stand to make sure Bee has a seat. 

I've joked with friends that there are easily a few dozen random Thai's with pictures of Bee on their phone or camera...she seems to attract a lot of attention for some reason.=)

We've traveled by every form imaginable.

Train, both by day and night.

Airplane with flights ranging from 45 mins to 15 hours.

Boat rides on little long-tails and high speed catamarans.

Double decker buses and small minivans.

Truck SongTauw, and zippy little taxis.

Even the very Thai Tuk Tuk's. 

And the 3 of us on a motorbike.

And every time Bee has amazed us with her ability to handle it all. 

She's turned into quite the little traveler. 

And I'm not even a little worried about her and I traveling alone from Chiang Mai Thailand to Dallas, TX. It will be long, 36 hours of traveling with 4 flights and layovers.

But Bee's done this before and we'll do it once more.

We've made new friends, and strengthened our family ties.

I spent time with the beautiful baby boys and girls of the ViengPing Childrens Home. 

Their faces will never leave my memory. 

I adored them and gave them all the love I could. 

They opened my heart and I feel like I'm leaving part of me with them. 

So we're leaving Thailand soon and hope to return again one day.

We've loved both the mountains and the islands, we've loved the people, and I've got some Thai dishes I'll need to make in the states. 

Thailand changed us...and we'll never forget it!

A Grateful Easter.

Today could have been so different. Today I have no doubt I could have lost my baby girl. And my heart hurts at the thought.
Bee and I were caught by a wave and thrown off my feet. The undercurrent was so strong it took all my strength to hold myself back from being pulled under. If I'd not had a good grip or God hadn't been holding us up, today could have been a very different story. And I am grateful. Grateful to have my girly laying me next to me watching Pingu. Even grateful for the meltdown in the middle of a busy store with her crying "mommy, I'm just so tired". Grateful for the chance to clean sand out of her ears for the umpteenth time today. Just grateful to be her mommy.
I love you my little Bee.

If you asked me.....

If you asked me, I would tell you we miss Daddy.

A. Lot.

He had to go back to the states a week ago.

We'll be apart for four more weeks.

On some days,

it feels like an eternity.

Bee is all out of sorts without him here, like not being "able" to walk because she scratched her leg. Evidently even sliding out of bed was physically impossible.

I took it as a cry for more Love and Hugs and obliged her need to be carried around.

Thankfully, she realized this morning that she could walk though only on her tippy toes.

If you asked me, I would tell you about my visit to the orphanage yesterday. So many new faces since I was there 5 weeks ago. Both in the Toddler house and the Baby House.
So many precious adorable faces.

Some familiar faces weren't there. Like little EQ. I really wanted to see him again. I'm praying the reason he wasn't there is that his Mommy and Daddy came for him.

If you asked, I'd tell you that secretly I wanted to be his Mommy. He grabbed my heart and I haven't stopped thinking about him for the last 5 weeks.

If you asked me, I'd tell you that I don't know what our future holds once we are back in the states. But I do have a Peace.
Peace that God will provide.
He will give direction.
He will open doors.

That Peace enables me to continue every day.

If you asked me...

If you asked me.....

I would tell you that as much as we have loved traveling and exploring Thailand, we miss our friends and family in the States.

Crazy. Bad. Homesick.

If you asked me I would tell you this trip has been a huge learning experience. From missing trains and booking awful rooms for a month. 

To trusting that God will provide our needs, and excitedly watching my husband get healthier every day.

If you asked me I would tell you I miss my iphone AND Bee's ipod. Getting dunked in seawater is not a good thing!

I would tell you that I really wish Bee had a younger sibling. And it hurts a little every time I am asked why we don't have another on the way yet. 

I trust God's timing is perfect and will try to wait patiently.

I would tell you my BABY is going to be 3.years.old.

THREE!

It's just not right that she's growing up so fast. We are going on 3 nights of waking up dry or waking me during the night to go to the bathroom. (she's been day trained for 9 months)

I am SO proud of her.

If you asked me I would tell you I have a real true love for adoption. And feeling convicted that as a Christian, it is a responsibility of ours to care for the orphans. 

Whether through sponsorship, volunteering, fostering, adoption, or just helping families who are trying to adopt. 

I don't believe it's a question of if.....just when.

Rest....

That's what we've been doing the last few days. Naps, watching movies, laying on the bed talking. I think knowing we'll be here a month has given us the chance to recover a bit from lots of activity. We can take things slower and not feel like we have to get out and see everything right now.
This will be good for us...

Be Still......

This has been on my heart and mind a lot these last few weeks we've been in Thailand. Be still. Something that is SO hard and almost unnatural for me.

To be in the moment.

To not try to always do two things at once.

To be here with my family, physically and mentally.

To just listen.

I always felt like I was being lazy if I wasn't always doing something.

Always.

But I'm learning it's ok.

God wants me to be still, and have my full attention.

Because only when I'm still and quiet do I have the chance to listen to Him.

To hear His words for me.

That He loves me and all my insecurities.

That He has a plan.

That He knows my fears.

He knows my dreams.

He hears what keeps me up at night and says,

"I've got it, just be still".

This is my lesson right now.

And it's not easy for me, and I fight it.

But I am learning.